precumming:

*gets drivers license* 

old person: looks like im gonna have to stay off the roads!

image

(via your-nigerian-prince)

32

dulect:

I don’t need you, I have other people to talk to

image

(via hate)

unflirty:

bondoge:

unflirty:

when i die, cremate me and put my ashes into the pepper shakers at my favorite restaurant

what the fuck

(it’s red lobster)

(via sgtruttersdartsclubband)